Ya knows hows y'alls niggaz been told dat if y'alls plays some classical muzik (nigga talkin' about mu'fuckin Beethoven not no Run DMC even do a gangsta nig like Tyrone done consider dat shit da REAL classical muzik) ta a plant or y'alls bratty kid dat it makes da growth more good and shit, and y'alls kids grows up ta be smarter like Uncle Tyrone? Well dis fuckin bullshit called Ranchero Music, Mariachi, or Banda or whateva da fuck mu'fuckin beaners am be listening to is da oppizit of classical and Tyrone done convinsed it turn y'alls DUMB. Shit sounds like a bad carnival be rollin into da hood and drives a nigga stir cuh-razy!! It bad enuff a nigga has to sit thru dis bullshit when I's gettin mah carnee asada tacos but every mu'fuckin' beaner in a beat up pickup truck with rakes and ho's (shit aint even da good kinda HO's in da back of dese trucks) be pumpin dis shit like deys groovin ta a main nigga like Chris Brown (nigga be innocent!) Alls I's gotsta say is FUCK RANCHERO BULLSHIT!
Tyrone done herd da udder day that fine ass white bitch Brooke Shields di'int git her honkey cherry popped til she wuz 22!! And ya knows why? Cuz bitch said she di'int like her fine ass body and home girl was insecure 'bout her looks!! What da fuck?? Bitch was modelin' and shit fo years and never got no Boom-Boom up her poon-poon?!! Sheeeit, dat's like a crime aginst humanity. Y'alls knows Tyrone woulda give a bitch da deep dickin a fine white ho like Brooke am be needin'. Then you got muthafuckin Shaneequa here in her fucked up ho'bag prom dress and y'alls knows this nigga-ho be takin' brothas DEEP since bitch was 11 and shit. Da fucked up thang is Shaneequa done look at herself in da mirror wearin' dis fucked up toga lookin' shit and sez to ho-self "MMMmmmm mmm, giiiirl, you be lookin' FINE today!! MMM hmmm....aint no nigga gonna be able to take his handz off mah fiiiine ass bootay!!" Shit bitch, YOU BE TRIPPIN' hard, git da fuck back ta Sea World ya Shamu lookin muthafuckin HO! This bitch so fat when Ho goes to da moviez, bitch ends up sittin next to EVERY MUTHAFUCKIN NIGGA in the theata!
What's wid y'alls niggaz wanting to be called "African American"?! The udder day Tyrone done goes to THE MAN's bank to git a loan (a nigga wants ta upgrade his 85 Caddy to an '88) and affer da comotion done dies down (fool ass bitches in da bank thought Tyrone was there ta rob da joint) and muthafuckin security guard gits his gun outta mah fuckin face, a nigga fills out da applimacation and writes in he's BLACK in da "race" box. Naturly, a nigga gets his shit REJECTED, but a nigga done not givin' up so Tyrone goes back da next day and instead of writing in BLACK a nigga writes in AFRICAN-AMERICAN and ya knows what? A nigga GETS THE LOAN muthafucka!! Da loan offisa esplains "nigga yesterday you was BLACK so we turned yo cooley ass down, but today y'alls nigga am be African-American, AFRICAN-AMERICAN, so y'alls gots da loan!" Ya bitch, dat shit don't happen so quit tinkin callin yo-self African-American don't still make y'alls a NIGGA
Don't gets me wrong, a nigga chow down on cupcakes affer smokin some medicinal twig, but what da fuck is it wid muthafuckin yuppy cupcake joints?! If a nigga be payin' $3, sumtimes $4 for a cupcake a nigga be expectin a little sumtin extra baked inside that shit ya knows? Fuck it holmes, a nigga betta off wid a box of Betty Cracka from da fuckin' Korean muthafucka grocer down da street than this Sprinkles bullshit!
Talkin bout muthafuckin skoolkidz has a nigga boiling over this honkey muthafucka. Dis here cracka is A.J. Duffy and nigga thinks he am be Tony Soprano and shit. Naw, nigga is head of the Teacher's Union of LA, they's street name is UTLA. Now Tyrone is down wid homies from 14th Street Niggaz, 88th Ave Brownies and gangsta nigz all ova da geografikal bitch, but Tyrone ain't down wid no UTLA. Dem sucka bitches be frontin and takin a niggaz hahd earned tax money, if a nigga were ta pay taxes, but fuck dat shit, taxes be for white fuckers. A Nigga has earned his way to live tax free, niggaz just got one word to say: Slavery bitches!! But a nigga digresses...fuck da Police, fuck UTLA, fuck Tony Montana wannabe AJ Duffy, and fuck dumbass skoolkidz who better learnin ta wash Tyrone's 85 Chadillac and gettin a niggaz RIMS clean.
Nigga be done pist at dis shit for more'n one reason. Say y'alls come up to a school and da muthafuckin light done turn red, yea I know y'alls gangstas blow thru dat shit, but just sometimes y'alls stop at da muthafucka. So nigga be chillin', bumpin' to Jay-Z and shit, and I done see dumb ass school boys crossin' in front of Tyrone's 1985 Cadillac-a-lac but they be walkin all slow and shit, like muthafukin slugs. Sucka schoolboys don't walk wid no PURPOSE no mo's, and what gits Tyrone's jeri curls (don't laff y'alls, nigga used to spote da Soul Glo) all greezy is dumb punk ass bitch slugs crossin' da streetz take they own sweet time when muthafuckin light turns red. Now Tyrone's got da greens and a nigga should run suckas ova, but nigga is on his 3rd strike y'alls so a niggas gotsta chills. Punk bitch schoolboys look at a nigga like "yea Nigga, I is in the crosswalk bitch, so y'alls gotsta WAIT til I done cross when I is done ready". Fuckin powerless bitches!! Y'alls aint got NO CONTROL or DIRECTION of yo damn life so y'alls gotsta make a nigga wait while y'alls takes yo own sweet time crossin'. And looky at mah photomagraph, dem fools also be jaywalkin and sayin' "uh uh y'alls best stop for a white boy crossin da road bitches". Fuck dat shit!
Why the fuck does I know who these cracka bitches be? Tyrone be surfin' the muthafuckin net lookin' for nekkid pics of bitches and ho's and nigga keeps comin' up wid these fools instead of Beyonce's poontang! What da fuck is a "Speidi" and why da fuck does an OG gangsta nigga like Tyrone knows about fuckin honkey cracka Spencer and his bitch Heidi??!!! Tyrone can't find no fuck videos of them so why the fuck are they broadcasting across my nigga technology?! Unless that ho Heidi be taking the BROTHER LOAD and a nigga's WEAPON OF ASS DESTRUCTION, I don't wantsta knows.
Peep this bitches, that cunt ho' Alice from the Brady Bunch is a dumb fuckin bitch! Tyrone was watching Da Bunch dis morns (and jacking off to Jan), Ho-bag Alice is gonna go out on the town, gits on her coat and freaks the fuck out cuz dere some ink stain on her coat. Jan (fine as hell) starts laffin cuz she put a fake plastic ink stain on Bitch-Ho Alice's coat. Now what the fuck dumb ass bitch can't tell the difference 'tween a real stain (ink, jizz, whatevas) and a fake piece of motherfuckin plastic??!!!! Fuckin dumb ass honkey Ho bitch! No wonders y'alls a fuckin maid, now get back to cleaning a niggaz crib ya BEEEYOTCH!
Shit foo', Tyrone damned read some dumb fuckin niggz reviewing that Crank 2 thrilla with my main nigga Jason Statham as a madass mofo that done can't be killed and shit. Review said the plot am be dumb and da writing whacked...... you know what Tyrone think is DUMB? Some dumb fuckin motherfuckin that walks into a movie like CRANK 2:HIGH VOLTAGE and is expecting to see Schindler's List or something boring bullshit like that!!!!! Nigga please, this is CRANK 2!!!! All niggaz want to see is niggaz shooting niggaz, Jason Statham cappin' some foo' every 5 minutes, shit being blows up and Amy Smart's damn fine white girl tittays! That's all niggas am be expecting with this shit, not no fuckin Academy Award acting bullshit where fools be talking about their feelings and shit.
Yo, what the fuck is wid dis shit? Who da fuck eats vegetable MEDLEY? Ain't no nigga wants no medley on his damn plate! Niggaz wants some CORN and shit, or mashed taters, no fuckin medley of bullshit that niggaz aint gonna eat y'alls. And what the fuck is that yellow shit up there? Tyrone will eat all the motherfuckin food off his motherfuckin plate except no motherfuckin medley. Look at my plate, nigga damn licked that shit clean, except I ain't touchin no medley and neither is you or any other nigga!!
